I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
