Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
