i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
