its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
