His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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