Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
