10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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