Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
