she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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