OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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