what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize