well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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