You just made me feel so damn special
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
