I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
