if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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