so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
