East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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