so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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