so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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