Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
