Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I currently don't understand fingers.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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