she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
