We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
