She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
