butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
