I heard we made out
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
