I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
