We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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