Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
