Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
