the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's shark week go big or go home
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
