I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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