You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
