Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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