he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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