i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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