i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize