you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i out mim tonsoeep
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