Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
