watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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