She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
