I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
