i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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