hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
