i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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