He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
