is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
