god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I love black thongs
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
