Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
