It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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