So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
