I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hippo gnu deer
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
