Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
