One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
