girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
