at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh god it's open bar.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
