Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
