Have you finally orgasmed yet?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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