lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
