Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
