i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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