I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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